Crystal Dwyer http://www.crystaldwyer.com Board Certified Life Coach and Hypnotherapist Sat, 07 Jun 2008 01:22:08 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en How to Meet Life’s Challenging Times How to Stay in Truth Through Life’s Most Challenging Times

My family, neighbors, and friends were all touched by tragedy a few days ago. A dear friend and neighbor took his own life. We have knowledge that intense financial issues and perhaps some relationship issues created a state of mind and emotions that led him to conclude future happiness was hopeless for him.

The pressure and uncertainty that many people are feeling now, with rising prices and deflated real estate values, can become very challenging. People are experiencing depression, anxiety, and even hopelessness about what’s ahead. During challenging times, it is more important than ever to observe the things you are thinking and feeling. Sadness, depression, and anxiety are all emotional and mental states. While the states we experience affect how we feel at a given time, it is critically important to your health and well being to realize that these negative states are temporary experiences that can be changed. The thing that causes people to become desperate, when they are in one of these states, is the tendency for them to identify with the state of being they are experiencing.

How can I get on top of my negative emotions?

If you find yourself immersed in a negative emotional/mental state, try to sit quietly for a moment and observe, in a detached way, what you are feeling. Imagine yourself completely separate from what you are experiencing. If you are depressed, imagine the depression is upon you like a quiet rain. You experience all of the qualities of the rain falling upon you, but you are not the rain. Even as you experience the qualities you understand the rain is temporary - it will pass. The other thing you can do is to change the negative state to a more positive one. Using your own resources you can dramatically change what you are thinking and feeling, almost instantly. Here’s how:

Thoughts- After observing the negative emotion, without judging it, notice the thoughts that are rolling through your mind. Usually thoughts that support negative states are based on fear. Write down each of those thoughts, noticing the negativity and fear in them. Then right next to each one write down a positive thought which would completely negate the negative one you were previously thinking. Read the “positive” list several times.

Physiology- Stand up in your best posture and think about a time you felt empowered, happy, and safe. Stand in a way that exudes those positive feelings, put a big smile on your face (whether you feel like it or not) and move your body a bit in a way that feels positive, light, or powerful. You could dance around, skip through your hallway, or even go for a little jog. The body and mind are a constant feedback loop. What you do with your body chemically changes your mind.

Action- Forming a positive plan of action also creates good chemistry in your body and mind. Write down a short list of 3 to 5 things that you can do very soon to improve the situation you are challenged by. Try to do 1 or 2 of them right away. Immediately, do a short visualization of completing all of the steps. See yourself going through each of the steps now, even if some of them will be completed a day later or a week later.

Your journey through life will present both positive and negative experiences. Both provide opportunities to grow. Support yourself and the people you love, knowing that your presence in this life experience is what’s important — experiences will come and go, lessons will be learned, and life will always move forward.

Love and blessings,
Crystal

]]> http://www.crystaldwyer.com/how-to-meet-lifes-challenging-times/ Mothers May is For Mothers
As I sit thinking of an appropriate tribute to Mothers I recall a day several years back when my children were much younger. I was staring out the window beyond my computer screen at the activity going on in a branch of the tree in front of me. I became quite mesmerized watching a mother bird tirelessly make trips to and from what was slowly becoming the beginnings of a nest. I sat and watched probably much longer than I should have, contemplating this mother bird’s singleness of purpose and dedication as she returned again and again, one twig or tuft of grass at a time in her mouth. I couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of oneness with this little mother bird. I could somehow relate to her tireless efforts to make a safe place for her soon-to-be babies to rest and grow. These musings gave me an overwhelming sense of solidarity for all mothers everywhere. What is this innate call to duty that causes women to experience a personal metamorphosis the instant we get a sense of the new life coming through us? I watched this little winged mother with reverence and understanding as she pressed forward as though this intuitive calling was the reason for her existence. Watching this made me think about how this sense of purpose and desire we have to meet our children’s needs, so that they can become their best, causes us mothers to virtually forget the existence of our own needs. Where does this love that is almost beyond reason come from? I felt the sacred whisperings of the divine as I contemplated this inexplicable devotion mothers everywhere share. I thought of all of the mothers and grandmothers throughout the world and couldn’t help but feel a deep connection. It seems that this call to maternal commitment and responsibility transcends race, culture, and religion as this drive to nurture our young is present in women everywhere throughout history.
This is one gift that every human being on our planet shares. We all came from a mother. Even those who, through extenuating circumstances, never knew their mothers share the same gift. We can all share a moment of gratitude to each and every one of our mothers for giving us the gift of life. Even if we had never received anything beyond that from the woman who brought us into life, I can’t think of a greater gift.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Crystal

]]> http://www.crystaldwyer.com/mothers/ A CHANGE FOR GOOD If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies. ~Author Unknown

Dear Readers,

It seems that everywhere you look, change is in the air. Our economy is changing, our housing market has been going through changes and the most central theme in each of the presidential candidates’ campaigns is change. Americans are hungry for change as we face new challenges ahead. When I was traveling in Paris and London over the Christmas holiday, one Londoner said to me “Right now we Brits are fascinated with your election process. You have a woman, a black man, and a Mormon as front runners. We can’t wait to see what happens next. It’s riveting!” After this somewhat amusing conversation I was struck with a new realization. The rest of the world is watching Americans accept a new paradigm of change in our willingness to earnestly consider candidates who, in the past, would not have made it very far in a presidential bid. I realized what an important precedent this election could be setting for both the collective consciousness of our own country and of the rest of the world. As a country we are making a clear statement that we are willing to look past stereotypes and the irrational fears that accompany them and to make our assessments and cast our votes based on the real qualities and characteristics that are present in a truly good leader. I feel like this represents a clear change and a refinement of our evolution as American citizens and as human beings.

In spite of our forward progress change can still be life’s biggest challenges for many people. Something inside of us often creates a pronounced resistance to change. Oftentimes we tend to want to keep things predictable and to know exactly what to expect each day of our lives. If we can keep things the same it somehow gives us the feeling of safety and security. For some this sense of safety, sameness, and security is even a stronger need than a sense of happiness and fulfillment. I see people in my practice all of the time who believe it would be better to stay in a depressing, sad, or miserable situation in their career or relationship, than to move forward and accept some kind of change in their lives. They continue to make the choice to stay the same and accept unhappiness or to avoid a choice which would lead them to change and ultimately more happiness.

One of my goals as a life coach is to help people understand that the greatest opportunities in life can only be found in change. Even a pullback in our housing or stock markets represents positive change toward greater buying opportunities ahead. Moving into the dynamic, changing flow of life and embracing change is the ONLY way to activate new opportunities in your life. If you can let go of some of your needs for absolute predictability and stability and jump into the flows and changes in your world, there you will find unlimited possibilities for yourself. It is within this context of change and unpredictability that you will tap into your most creative power and possibly the most exciting opportunities you could imagine!

All the best to you,
Crystal

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom ~Anais Nin

]]> http://www.crystaldwyer.com/a-change-for-good/ What Is LOVE? Dear Readers,

It seems the new year just began and yet we are already half way into February preparing to share sentiments of love with the objects of our affections. So what is this thing called LOVE and why do we dedicate an entire day and spend millions of dollars as a society to celebrate it?

As I sit with people each day I am privy to their deepest hopes, dreams, aspirations, and fears. I have the unique privilege of assisting people through the intricate process of discovering the things about their lives that do not enrich their existence and to hone in on and define those elements of life that support, sustain, and give meaning to life itself. In this discovery process we work through personal goals, health goals, and professional goals, defining strategies and plans of action that will help them achieve all they desire.

Remarkably, even with all of these seemingly important aspects that we focus on and aspire to, we invariably find that the most elemental force behind a person’s genuine happiness and freedom is…LOVE. The essential need we each have to love and be loved is what drives us to look better, do better, feel better and BE better! LOVE gives both power and meaning to every other thing we do in life.

The LOVE we experience within each type of relationship we participate in has special qualities which fulfill us in different ways. The love we have for our children helps us feel needed and connected to a purpose greater than ourselves. The love we feel for parents often has an element of gratitude and respect for all of their sacrifices in helping us learn and grow. The love we have for good friends gives us freedom to be ourselves with few strings attached.

However, the most important love relationship we have in this life is the love we share with our significant life partner. True LOVE between a man and woman creates a wholeness in each that cannot be experienced separately. When you talk to people who are truly in love they agree that sharing their lives together has given them feeling of internal completeness.

Ann Landers once said:
“If you have LOVE in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don’t have it, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough.”
It is said that GOD IS LOVE. I believe there is no greater truth. When we choose love as the vehicle to make everything else happen in our lives – our lives expand exponentially in every direction. What greater power is there than LOVE?

Imagine how much more fulfilling our lives could be if we continue to celebrate our love for the people who matter the most to us all year instead of just one day. Remember that the energy of your love is never lost. It only expands as it is given…the more love you give the more you will experience love returned to you….WISHING YOU A HAPPY AND LOVING VALENTINES DAY!

Crystal

]]> http://www.crystaldwyer.com/what-is-love/ A New Year - A fresh start Dear Readers,
I wanted to take a few moments to wish you all a very Happy New Year! Now that the celebrating is over and the holiday regalia is tucked away, we can look forward to this time ahead of us that represents a fresh start for all. You might have already penciled down a few resolutions that you thought may help you make this year better than your last. Setting new resolutions for the year ahead is a time-honored tradition that most of us have participated in at one time or another. Some of us indulge in this resolution-setting ritual religiously because we see it as the first step to making change happen for us, as the new year takes off. We feel if we have serious enough resolve to put our goals and desires in writing, or at least articulate them, that we are bound to get something better out of our lives in the year ahead.
So why is New Year resolution making so notoriously ineffective for most people? After all, we each have the best of intentions as we put to paper our goals and dreams for the year ahead.
The reason we end up loosing our resolve, sometimes in very short order, is that often we set goals and objectives that are not in alignment with our deepest driving needs. Each one of us has basic human needs that drive virtually every decision we make or action we take (or not take as the case may be) in our lives. Until we really learn to get in touch with our deepest needs, the plan or blueprint we set forth for ourselves will either fail or make us miserable. Many of us don’t have the slightest awareness of what is really driving the decisions we make and consequently the results we get from our lives.
To make this year a truly transformational one, start with some deep inner reflection on the truth behind your choices and actions. What are your deepest needs and how would you prioritize them? Is there an unacknowledged need for love, significance, certainty, connection, or something else that is either driving you toward what you want or sabotaging the efforts you take to get where you want to be. Using deep, honest inner relfection or meditation try to get really clear about this. Once you have a sense of your driving needs and how they take prioity in your life, ask yourself if they are prioritized and balanced in a way that will really serve your greatest growth in the year ahead. If you conclude they are not, then your first resolution might be to reprioritize and balance your needs in a way that will better serve your happiness and success. This process may include releasing values and beliefs about yourself or others that have kept you stuck and prevented you from moving toward your heart’s true desire.
Life is truly an evolutionary process. Just when you think you have all of the answers is the best time to go within and ask more questions. The most important resolution you can make for the year ahead would be to get more in touch with your own driving needs and desires. This will be the starting point for miraculous change and growth in your life. Wishing you a dynamic, successful, and evolutionary year ahead. All of the BEST in 2008!
Warm Regards, Crystal

]]> http://www.crystaldwyer.com/a-new-year-a-fresh-start/ A Change of Seasons-How to Gracefully Move With the Flow of Life We think of autumn as the time to harvest what was earlier planted. To reap the fruits of the seeds that were imbedded long before and nurtured for many months. It is also the time when the leaves whose useful lives are finished, cascade to the ground as the trees lay dormant, standing steady through the winter months only to burst forth again with fresh growth when the first taste of spring arrives.
Fall is the perfect time to think of as a reaping and gathering of that which has been produced from the seeds of hopes, dreams, and goals you might have planted in the earlier months of the year.
This time of year when the sun approaches the winter solstice has historically been the time to prepare for the final months of our year and all of the richness and challenges it may bring.
Why not take a few moments of quiet time each day during this beautiful fall season, to reflect on what has come from those small buds of hopes, dreams, and goals, which you previously sowed this year. Have you taken the time and care to nurture and tend to them so that they are growing and becoming fruitful or did you plant them and walk away perhaps wondering now why they haven’t produced what you desired. Taking inventory of our personal produce helps us realize where we must go from here to achieve our deepest desires. Have we produced new things that will feed our lives or have we allowed our new crop of dreams to fail?
If so, now would be a good time to observe what we can learn from any disappointment or failure. Next time we plant our precious seeds we must tend to them with care, spending the energy and focus that is required to cultivate them to maturity and fruition. Those habits that might have kept us from reaping our dreams may have served their useful life. Now may be the time to let them fall away like the leaves of autumn. Letting go of the old allows the new and fresh to come through.
Allow yourself to enjoy the change and flow of each season as it comes along. When you focus on the qualities of each season it can become a beautiful metaphor for the seasons of your life.

All the best to you,

Crystal

]]> http://www.crystaldwyer.com/a-change-of-seasons-how-to-gracefully-move-with-the-flow-of-life/ The Conference Classes Were a Great Success It was GREAT to see such a fabulous turnout at the Conference Event. We covered some FASCINATING TOPICS that EVERYONE deals with at one time or another. People were so energized by seeing the MIRACULOUS CHANGES that Life Coaching, Emotional Freedom Techniques, and Hypnotherapy can make in a person’s life. We learned a lot of valuable tools and strategies for living life to the fullest. We shared a lot of the stories that make us all human, and we did some live hypnotherapy and EFT demonstration to show the POWER of these tools in facilitating change in our lives.

Some of the comments shared:

“I can’t believe how differently I feel now. The stress I have been dealing with has been overwhelming. I really didn’t know if I could go through this huge career change with the obstacles that have shown up. Now I feel like this is exactly what I need to be doing and everything is going to be just fine.” J.P.

” I feel like I have a brand new start after this weekend. I am going forward, I am using all of your CDs and the tools we’ve learned and I am so ready to create the life I want.” R.R.

“I went home and listened to the Starter Set after the first night and I LOVED it! Now I’m back today because I HAVE to get the Weight Loss CD Set!” C.B.

It is really a joy for me to share these wonderful tools and strategies for getting the BEST out of life. I hope I get a chance to personally meet each one of you at future events!

All the best,

Crystal Dwyer

]]> http://www.crystaldwyer.com/the-conference-classes-were-a-great-success/ A Conference Not to be Missed Every once in awhile an event comes along that stands to change your life in profound ways. The ALTERNATIVE HEALTH CONFERENCE in Scottsdale, Arzizona is such an event. If you are spending the labor day weekend in the Phoenix area it’s not too late to register for this fabulous weekend of learning and relaxation. Visit this website now to see fabulous group of professionals who will be sharing their wisdom and experience to help you improve your life in so many ways. Go to:

www.alternativehealthconference.com

Oh, and be sure to register for my class. We’ll work through some amazing life strategies using a combination of Life Coaching, EFT, and Hypnotherapy. You’ll learn so much about yourself and have fun in the process. I look forward to seeing you there!

Have a wonderful day!

Crystal Dwyer

P.S. Don’t forget your free gifts when you check in including a certificate for $50.00 off your first private session with me.

]]> http://www.crystaldwyer.com/a-conference-not-to-be-missed/ Meditation - The Best Medication to Ease the Body & Mind Lets face it. We live in a fast-paced, achievement driven world in which many of us feel guilty if we’re not being productive most of the time. The world we’ve created allows us to be perpetually plugged in, turned on, and tuned in 24/7. Between the World Wide Web, 24 hour up to the minute news, and a global culture that is screaming that “MORE IS BETTER”, we are pushing ourselves past the boundaries of our physiological and psychological capacities. As a result of this overload more of us are reaching for a quick fix for our stressed out minds and worn out bodies.

As we have come to expect instant information and instant connection so have we concluded that we should be able to get an instant fix for what ails us. There are more medications available than ever before and we are reaching for that quick-fix-in-pill in record numbers. So determined are we to keep racing through life with all of our balls up in the air that many of us don’t bother to find out what potential harm all of this self-medicating could be doing to us. Doctors continually prescribe pain-killers and muscle-relaxers that are so addictive people are ending up in rehab for something that was supposed to HELP them.

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